I am a very outgoing person, but sometimes I tend to be a little standoff-ish in social settings. Because of my childhood insecurities, a million things run through my head… "Will they like me?" "Will they get my sense of humor?" "They will probably think I'm weird if I say that."
Have you ever felt like that?
Honestly, it’s pretty normal to want to be liked and to worry about being liked. Of course, it usually happens more often when we are kids. Sometimes though, it seems to cling to us as we go through adulthood.
A lot of my personal insecurities in a social setting stem from bullying I went through not only as a child, but in some instances even as an adult!
Yes, you read that right. Adult Bullies exist.
So, with that being said, how do I deal with it?
The old me would have tried to find a way to blame myself for THEIR behavior. I would immediately worry that something I did or said offended them, which caused them to act a certain way towards me. After a few years of my journey of self-discovery, I learned a lot about myself. I learned how to finally let go of the idea that I was always at fault.
Sometimes people act a certain way towards us because of their own personal insecurities.
Growing up, my mom would tell me that my bullies made fun of me because they were jealous or unhappy with themselves. Of course, back then I never once believed that to be true and it's only now that I realize it really was!
People who lash out at others in ANY way are often fighting some sort of inner demon.
I finally came to terms with this after dealing with my first, and last, adult bully a few years ago. A confident person doesn't lash out at others to make them feel bad about themselves. They do the exact opposite by trying to lift you up when you're feeling down.
When I find myself in situations like these, I do the following:
1. Count backwards from 10 to 1. It diffuses any anger or upset feelings I may have.
2. Walk away, and go do something else. If I can't walk away, I find something to distract me from the situation.
3. Always bless, release, and pray for them. I don't know their struggles, and most likely they are not lashing out at me because of something I have done. I just happened to be there at the time and became their target.
4. Let. It. Go. I do not allow myself to relive that situation over and over again in my mind. It does more harm than good, and it never brings healing or clarity.
Always remember that there is much more to life than dwelling on the hurt that people have tried to inflict upon you. You were meant for something greater!